fifteen

need time to be by myself.

I woke up today, feeling lousy.
I kept waking up about every two hours, last night,
I guess I was anxious ?


   Its been a while since I have wrote on here, I've been needing to get away.
Away from all of the drama of ordinary life.
Although, I feel a bit lonely; I'm going to need to do something, maybe read...
   But in the midst of taking this time to be by myself, I've realized that in reality,
I've lost many of my friends over the past few years. Many because of conflict
but also because of time. I just don't have all the time in the world to keep in touch.
As for the few, I'm very lucky to have. Without them, without family, without anyone;
I would be a total mess. I've learned that.
    I started this blog in order to find myself, but it seems that I've neglected the very thing
I wanted to do. I have been pessimistic about a lot of things I have written about,
even naive. This is a new start.
I'm going to start to grow, and search deeper to find myself.