eleven.

relationships;

they come and go,

some you keep and others you don't.

it's life right?

there's no easy way to put this, but when you are young and naive, the world isn't all what it should be. you get into a relationship hoping for it to last, but it doesn't always turn out like that. it's all part of a growing experiance. also there comes a time for mistakes,and you learn from them.

your young and they don't last, because of so many factors. also a relationship shouldn't involve work, because it should be fun. and if it leads to work then you aren't going to have that fun.

or that when you are in a relationship its all fun at the start, then it starts getting sour because you see too much of them, and therefore it causes you to work at keeping it, rather than enjoying it.

now i'm no pessimist, but you are bound to get your heart broken many times, over the course of your life until the day you find the one you want to be with. and you don't get to chose where the heart goes, you just follow it.

i guess it's hard to let go of that one, that you planned [mentally] your life together with that person. and it sucks, and i know because i've been there. then if you think of some memory or w.e of what you had with that person its like a constant pain, or a reminder of what you lost.

but for the most part, i think having these relationships, help you grow as a person, no matter what path you decide for yourself, growing is a part of life, and i don't need to be told that, because it happens.

it just hurts when you put so much time into something, to have it blow up in your face.

yes, i am only sixteen, and i haven't lived through much of my life, but i'm saying this from the perspective of what my mother has told me time and time again.

ten.

if there's anything that i would do differently, i would.

i'm sorry for causing you pain, and keeping things from you.

you know that i didn't tell you, because i didn't want to push you away.

but in the end i only did just that.

i can't live without you, and i certainly don't want to think of a life without you.

i need you, and it hurts to think that we are over.

i said forever, and i meant it.

you asked me something, and i accepted.

you said everything is going to be alright, but how do you know.

it seems like it's over, because something similar happened before, and i told you the story.

i'm sorry that you have to second guess things.

but please, i didn't mean to hurt you, and now i'm scared.

i gave you my heart, and i am afraid that now i wont ever be able to mend it.

i know that you need time to think, but remember to read what i gave you, because it's my voice, when i don't have one.

you are my light, when everything is dark,

and you are the person that makes me happy.

don't throw it all away, please, give it another chance.

i didn't mean to keep things tucked away, in the abyss of thoughts and feelings.

i wanted to tell you, and i didn't because i was scared.

but now, i am unable to stand on my two feet, without feeling sick.

i need you.

i love you, with all my heart.

I'M SO SORRY!

nine.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields. - Major John McCrae

Lest we forget; the ones that fought for our freedoms, and those that are still fighting today.

eight.

Need You

When I gave you my heart,
I didn't mean for you to pull it apart.
My heart aches for you,
then you start tugging at the strings.

And if only our time to be together is now,
like you meant to say.
then i need you to know i cant keep going this way.
Just when you find someone that could be your soulmate;
sometimes it may be too late.

so this is the sorriest excuse for a poem.

seven.

this story has no relation to my own life.

Emotions

It's morning; sometime before noon. I can hear the birds chirping outside of my window, and i am blinded by the bright light of the warm morning. The wind blows, through the wind chimes on someones porch. It blows on and into my window, that moves the ivory curtain. The soft lilac sent comes in through the window; through each movement of the curtain.

I turn over, waiting to be disappointed by the fact that last night was a fragment of my imagination. I see the bed sheets tangled up in each other around my feet. Then I see what I'm waiting for; I see him, lying next to me. His body, is god-like and smooth, the muscles are ripped and bare, hidden under a white sheet. It almost doesn't feel real, I close my eyes, and after a moment I re-open them. I see his head perched perfectly on the pillow, his face is calm, and collected. His brown eyes are an abyss of emotions, but his mousy, brown hair is out of place.

I want to know what he is thinking about, why he stayed, I want to know everything.

As I stare into his eyes, he moves his hand under my chin, and gently rubs my cheek. Shivers run down my spine, as shocks come off his skin.

He parts his perfect lips,  and asks, " What are you thinking about?"

His breath came over me; his breath was sweet.

It was hard for me to speak at this point; I was overwhelmed by emotions. I didn't want to tell him that I was afraid that he wouldn't be there this morning, with no evidence of what happened.

I opened my mouth, and struggled with what to say, all that came out of my mouth was "You stayed,"

He grinned, pulling my face in towards his until our lips touched; it was a tender but passionate kiss.

After a long moment, he stopped, and pulled away, and said "I wouldn't leave you, I gave you my heart, I love you Hayley! If I did that I would be a fool!"

Tears welled in my eyes, a smile appeared on my face; I didn't know what to say. I knew I felt the same way, "I love you, too!" I said.

 He took a hold of me, in an embrace. That moment, together, began the rest of our lives.

six.

"the fear itself, is the sense of having no control."

so many things in this world are unexplained.

from the things that go bump in the night, make spooky shadows, and the childhood fear

of the boogy man in the closet, or under the bed.

in pop culture, from the time of the swinging twenties, to the present, there are so many stories that are told in movies and in television programs; have these paranormal/ghostly stories.
but they are only made to scare us, not actually give the facts. so whats the truth from the lie?

when i was younger i used to be afraid of my closet, because it was small and cramped, and i

thought that something would come out and grab me.also, i was scared of one of the houses that i lived in, because i definitely felt something in there that, i couldn't explain, it scared me and i would always fall asleep with the covers over my head.

now, since i am older, i love watching horror films, but they never spook me, unless i'm home alone and the lights are turned off.

there are many people, yearly, that report ghost phenomenon, but do we believe it, or do we just brush it off ?

many people would just brush it off, since it's unexplainable, and in many cases there is no evidence.

or they try so hard to get evidence and it never comes out the way they expected.

i for one, am intrigued by the so called ghosts, and spirits, as well as poltergeists.

they're interesting, and i like the sense that i have no way of explaining things that are there the first minute, and aren't there the next.

the thing i'm most scared is having no sense of control over the situation, like the many superstitions over the ouija board; you are contacting the devil.  like yes, i have no belief in Christian truths about god vs. the devil, but i am scared of being taken over by something demonic.

even if that superstition would hold true, i would probably be the one in the room taking hold of the cross, and praying, even though i would go to hell anyways, since i don't believe.

also, poltergeists; they don't scare me until they start moving things around, like i've seen on youtube, but even that evidence is debatable.

but still, wouldn't that freak you out?

but before i die, i would like to have a paranormal encounter.

i know, and am aware that this came three days late of Halloween,

but i'm going to see Paranormal Activity, so why wouldn't i write this?

five.

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.
-Salvador Dalí

four.

so i really need to get things off of my chest.

so i have nothing wrong with the christian faith, i'm totally fine with it, i don't discriminate at all, and i'm not trying to with this rant, like i have a background in it. when people have fights over faith it gets me thinking, why do we need to fight over it?
we are people right? we all look alike; we have hair, a nose, two eyes, two legs, two arms, etc...

i know, and understand that people have been fighting over religion, and faiths for centuries, but like it's hard when its right in your face. at school i have to deal with it, i am on the side that doesn't care all that much about the Christian faith system, because of the different stories that are passed down, or written, and taught. i don't see the point, in having that in my face every single day for ten months of the year.
i know and understand that people need to have at least some part of them show what their faith is, but in my small little town of Barrie, with a high school that holds about 2100 students, it gets overwhelming when 95% of that population is Caucasian/Christians.
is there no diversity here?
i thought we lived in a mosaic country, where everyone is allowed to show their faith, and not conform to others.
i know i'm the stereotypical looking Caucasian/Christian, but in reality, i don't believe in that one religion.

all i'm saying is, why is the Christian faith changed over the years? from just telling the stories of the bible to said to pray for any other type of religious places to be torn down, like mosques and other temples.
i hardly see that fair, their only hurting themselves, they need to accept that there are other religions than i guess the "ultimate" one of Christianity.

three.

does it seem like one simple thing that gets said
create so much drama?
there is no point anymore,
i don't care about it.
it's over,
you can keep dragging it on,
but i wont!

two.

with every minute apart,
every breath taken.
brings me one step closer to you.

i am definitely not a sentimental person,
i can't write poetry, or even songs.
i try my best when i can.
there's no point in trying because i can't get
my emotion heard.
i keep everything bottled inside, until one day i will just break,
break down, and not be able to mend.

one.

I don't understand why there is so much drama between them these days,
it gets really pathetic.
especially with peoples beliefs, and values, they can't be friends...